Sometimes I feel all excited about the work I do,
and sometimes I sulk.
Sometimes I feel all this is a passe,
and sometimes feel doomed for life.
Sometimes I feel I have got it all wrong,
and sometimes feel I am all set to rise.
Sometimes I feel stupid,
and sometimes unimaginably intelligent.
Sometimes I feel all this is unreal,
and sometimes I feel the pain.
Sometimes I realise,
and sometimes I refuse to.
Sometimes I wonder – why?
And sometimes I think – so what?
With nothing interesting at hand life seems to be a bit too boring. Hope the boredom does not last.
Lately I am trying to build a pet application using flex. The good thing about flex is it is cool. The bad thing about it is it keeps me hooked on to it. Hope i complete my pet project sometime soon.
Adobe has releases Catalyst – a rapid protoyping tool – waiting to get my hands on it.
As usual just a few random happenings around is all i have got for this post.
Have seriously no clue on what has happened to me today. Feeling bored and weird aint a good feeling anyday and unfortunately it’s today! As always my blog’s here to hold my rants so that we can have a hearty laugh someday down the lane.
I decided I should write something with no clue on whatsoever to write, rather type.
I am not an economist to write about impact of recession,
I am not an political analyst to discuss elections,
I am not a cricket fan to crticise yesterday’s IPL game,
I am not an active investor/trader to explain the roller coaster rides in the markets,
I am not an astrologer to emphasise the importance of Akshaya Trithiya,
I am not a programmer to suggest nuances while writing code,
I am not a poet to give verse to my thoughts,
I am not a movie buff to discuss why Ramarajan has the choicest wardrobe.
All I am is a bored individual who knows he wants to do something interesting but has no clue on what to do and as a result goofs up even what he’s doing. In short a bored, frustrated guy with a worn out look – yeah that’s me for today.
I am tired,
Of waking up to the screeching alarm,
Of opening my eyes with a frown,
Of monday mornings,
Of looking forward to weekends,
Of missing my gang of friends,
Of thinking of her,
Of dreaming of the difficult,
Of only wanting to do and not doing,
Of looking back at the beautiful days,
Of looking forward to tomorrow,
Of not seeing the light of day,
Of walking dark deserted streets.
I am tired,
Of being tired.
Mails are such good means of communication-fast and reliable. Its hard to miss any info that comes across in mails. However on the flip side too much of mail to sort is a pain. It was a very long time since i cleared my gmail inbox and when i log in today i find close to hundred mails unlabeled and unsort. After 30 minutes of painfully checking each mail and squeezing my brain cells to decide whether the mail should be archived or deleted finally i get to see ‘No new mail! Want to read updates from your favorite sites? Try Google Reader’. Relief!!
I recently broke my spectacles while combing my hair – how? – that’s for you to figure out – it just happens! And my dad and i went to optical store to get them fixed and also to buy a new one – just in case as i have the reputation of breaking them very frequently – so much that my mom was like – ‘everytime you come home, you bring a broken pair’ 
. coming back to the opticals store, the person there – known to my dad educated me about the latest frames and then came the toughest work of choosing a new frame. After looking around, the assistant at the store showing frames in all colors of the rainbow. Me being a fan of color black asked the assistant to filter all the other colors and there were quite a good number still left to choose from – half frames, thin rimmed etc. Not satisfied i looked around and found this thick jet black frame and the shop owner and my dad were like – ‘you sure you want that?’ , and I smiled and nodded happily. It looked oldish and that was what i liked the most about it. All done the spectacles were ready, and the expressions I got were like..
My mom: Ennada thatha kannadi! (looks like grandfather’s spectacles)
My friends: Eeeeks! Geek!
Colleague 1: Flashback hero in black and white films
Colleague 2: French Beard, Thick black glasses – u are French man!
Aunt: Sania fan?? (Me: nahin!! nooo!! no way!!)
Phew! Never knew these glasses could evoke such responses…
Few weeks back i stumbled upon ATP. Man – What a blog! Was hooked on to it for almost a week reading all the older posts like i normally do for all the blogs i newly start reading. And half way down not knowing what ATP stands for assumed that it meant Azagaana Tamiz Penn . Later on further reading realised that it was Asal Tamiz Penn. An interesting narrative style and choice of topics and typical tam-bhram lingo are sure any readers delight. Totally loved reading the blog. But it so happens that all good things cease to exist and so does this blog – does not blog anymore i guess. Sigh!
And guess what! I went home for 5 full days. Big deal huh? Yup it is-if you are going home after 4 full months. The city has changed so much. Land that was barren and without a soul for a kilometer had shopping malls and other complexes, so much that even the chicken soft noodles and crisp chicken from Nanking have lost its taste and color respectively. Sigh! The city which was so much mine looks so not like mine during my recent visits. Sigh! (Psst! Nanking is one of the most famous chinese restaurants in secunderabad – its been there for ages and is one of the most sought after eatouts)
Looks like Sighs are all i have written in this post and one more thing is thing is all blog about is rants and nothing worthwhile, even the so-called-poetry is used to write is now dwindling. There’s one lying in the drafts - don’t know when it is going to see the light of day! Sigh! (again!)
I am tired,
I want to do something,
I can’t do anything,
I think,
I don’t feel anything,
I don’t know anything,
I smile,
I see something,
I realize something,
I decide,
I am nothing…
Sunrise,
I wake up to the noise of the screaming alarm,
A train of thoughts running in my mind,
Staring at the ceiling,
She must be waiting.
I lock my door,
Hope he doesn’t leave,
I will tell him today,
My heart skips a beat.
How beautiful she is,
An angel.
Will he say ‘Yes’?
Will he say ‘No’?
Why did she do this?
‘No’, a tear trickles.
‘I’m sorry’,
Our eyes stare at each other,
We met…
I see her standing in the wind,
Her flowing hair, dancing to its tunes,
Wonder if I really love her,
Her smile so sweet,
Like…
My phone rings,
…a dew drop on a rose petal,
I miss the call.
Her eyes, deep as the night sky,
Lost, in search,
How I wish she loves me,
She walks…
My phone rings,
…silent, graceful,
I miss the call.
Lost, in her gaze,
I fail to believe,
I stand, stunned,
‘I…
My phone rings,
…’ she said.
I answered.
Cool air hitting hard on my face,
a feeling most exciting,
an assortment of sounds,
unheard and uncared.
Lost in thoughts I was,
a sudden awakening,
“Hi”, I said,
a smile, he replied.
Darkness all around,
lone light of the lamp,
staring at the star studded sky,
a pure delight,
“So were her eyes”, I said,
he smiled.
The night so serene,
Peaceful, fulfilling,
“Oh yes”, I said, “So were those moments spent with her”,
he smiled.
A sudden halt,
darkness all around,
giving nature her chance,
those chirpy sounds blended with the wisdom of silence,
Ah! A perfect blend,
“So was she!” I said.
he smiled.
Strange I thought,
He has His own ways,
nature’s beauty I realize in her,
a sudden jolt,
my destination arrives,
he departs.
மௌனம்,
ரத்தம் கலந்த மண்வாசனை,
புயலில் குடை சாய்ந்த மரங்களில் நானும் ஒருவன்,
என் தாய்நாட்டுக்கு நல்ல மகன் என்ற திருப்தி,
என்னை பெற்ற தாய்க்கு ?
மன்னிக்கவும் அம்மா,
என் தந்தை உடன் சேர நேரம் வந்துவிட்டது…
